Last month, I took my first Hip Hop dance class in a long time, and it was a mix of emotions: overwhelming, nerve-wracking, scary, fun, exciting, and nourishing all at once. I hadn’t planned on going until just a few days before, when I sat myself down and asked what was really stopping me. The class was affordable, I was available, but still, I was hesitant. As someone who proudly advocates for the value of taking dance classes for the fun of it, I can see how this might seem a little out of character for me...but hear me out.
Looking back at my dance journey, I am proud. I've worked hard and accomplished alot, and it's visible. This sense of accomplishment, I've realized, doesn't come on its own. It comes with a subtle pressure to maintain this image - to always present myself in a way that says ," I went to school for dance in Las Vegas and New York City, I have my own dance platform, and yes, I am a professional." As a result, I find myself subconsciously avoiding any situation that might challenge this image- like taking a dance class. The thoughts creep in: What if I mess up? What if I'm not among the best? What if people see me struggle and question whether I truly deserve my achievements? What if imposter syndrome isn't so imposter after all and everyone sees it?
After a lot of internal back and forth, I decided to brave it out and take the class and not because the negative thoughts had vanished, but because I was reminded that I’m human. I don’t always need to have it all together. It’s okay to wear my achievements proudly and still be a student, great in some classes and not so great in others. I'm glad to inform you that the class turned out to be a wonderful experience. I allowed myself to make mistakes, pushed through the urge to leave halfway, gave it my very best, and left feeling genuinely proud of myself. So dancer friends, when those doubts creep in for you, too, remember: our achievements don’t take away from our humanity, and they don’t need to be constantly proven. Here’s to rediscovering the joy of being a student!
Keep creating & sharing!
~ your dancer friend
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